I know, I know how long it’s been. I don’t need the lecture. In all fairness, I have been writing, editing, and querying. So yes, I have been doing all the writing.
Just not here.
But let’s just move on, shall we?
So, like I said, I have been doing all of the things related
to writing and books…except for reading. I don’t know about anyone else, but for
the last two months of 2024, my brain went into some kind of shutdown mode when
it came to reading. Up until then, I had been rolling happily along, reading
daily before it came to a screeching halt. I couldn’t pinpoint anything
specific. It seemed to be gradual; one day, I would read a few paragraphs before
realizing I couldn’t recall anything that I had read. Other times, I would feel
physically exhausted the minute I started reading. It didn’t matter if I was in
bed at 10 pm or in a chair at 4 pm. Everything would shut down. The last straw
was heightened anxiety that made it impossible to focus on anything (except for
doom scrolling). So I stopped, fully gave up, and didn’t pick up a book for the
rest of the year. It was so bad that I didn’t make my reading goal for the year.
Up to that point, I’d been on track to exceed my goal. I had only ever not met
it during Covid.
I started thinking back on that time and realized the
cause was extreme anxiety over not knowing what was coming. At that time, it
was so bad that I also couldn’t write. However, something did change after a
few months, and the desire to read came back in full force, followed by the
writing. I can’t pinpoint exactly what changed back then, but I think it had to
do with realizing the world wasn’t going to fix itself miraculously and I wouldn’t
have to worry anymore. If anything, it would most likely remain a dumpster
fire. Books were one of the few things that could bring me true happiness, even
if for only a few hours.
I think I also let the holidays be an excuse. There’s
so much to do during that time, so many distractions, things to take us away
from the news of the day. When the holidays ended, there were no more
distractions, just a startling sense of reality and how soon things would be
changing again. Around that time, I noticed a lot of artists online talking
about using art (music, painting, crocheting, and obviously writing) as a form
of rebellion, even protest, against the darkness of the world. It wasn’t an
immediate ah-ha moment, but more of a “yeah, why the F&$!#% am I letting them
take joy away from me along with everything else?”
I wish I could tell you that I don’t doom scroll
anymore or worry about every little thing. But I stopped watching or listening
to the news and tried to watch more videos about art, music, books, etc. I walk
a fine line between needing to stay informed and not losing my mind. Some days,
I do better than others. More than anything, I’ve made it a point to do
something creative and absorb something creative. I’m proud to report that I
have read four books since the first of the year. My hope this year is not that
I’ll meet my reading goal but that there will be more minutes spent reading
than doom scrolling. I hope the same for you, my friends.
If you need any inspiration, here’s what I’ve been
reading:
· The
Small and the Mighty: Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History
from the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement – Sharon McMahon –
Boy, if you need some inspiration during these times, this is the book for you.
Especially if you feel like only powerful people can change things.
· How
it Feels to Float – Helena Fox – I’ve been
looking for stories to use as a comp for the book I’m currently editing (YA/Anxiety/Reincarnation),
and this story felt right: grief, severe anxiety, and just being a teenager in
today’s world.
· The
House in the Cerulean Sea – T.J. Klune – This book
has been on my list for months, and my hold finally came in a week ago. After I
finished it, I wrote an Instagram post for a particular quote and how this was
the book I needed during this time. I don’t even know how to describe it other
than - cozy fantasy, found family and the antichrist thrown in. Just read it…..
· The
Magician’s Assistant – Ann Patchett – I am a HUGE Ann Patchett
fan, but there are a few of her older books that I somehow missed, and this was
one. I have to be honest – some of her books I don’t know that I would have
ever read based just on the description…Thankfully, I learned to ignore the blurbs
years ago and have never looked back. I’m telling you right now - I will read
the phone book if she ever comes out with a new version of it. No one writes
about relationships and everyday lives like she does. I didn’t expect to be
invested in a former magician’s assistant living in LA who found out that her
late husband had a family she never knew about. Nor did I expect to care about that
family living in the middle of Nebraska. I suspect I wouldn’t have either if it
was anyone but Ann telling the story.
Please let me know what you’ve been reading! We need
to share all the stories…
“You must stay drunk on writing so reality
cannot destroy you.” – Ray Bradbury.
“Literature is the most agreeable way of
ignoring life.” - Fernando Pessoa
“Maybe this is why we read, and why in
moments of darkness we return to books: to find words for what we already
know.” - Alberto Manguel
Be well….
~Adrienne
