Tell the story....

Okay, so it's been months, not a year, so we're making progress. I wish I could say that my increased ability to focus was in direct proportion to the state of the world, but....

Dear reader, things have gotten progressively worse, but we have no choice but to keep going, right? 

In more direct terms, the horrors persist, nevertheless, so do I.

I'm still querying my first book and preparing to start querying my second. I'm trying to stay optimistic despite the reality of how difficult it was to break into publishing before (gestures wildly around me), all of this began. Add the issue of rising costs on everything, library funding being cut, and the increasing attack of book bans, and one might (should) ask why I would want to do this. Why would I want to persist? Because in times like these, art is one of the few ways we have to truly express how we are feeling. We use our talents to connect with others who are feeling the same way we do. If I had any talent with a paintbrush, I would be Van Goghing the hell out of a canvas right now. If I were an actor, I would be searching for roles that involve leading a rebellion. If I were Taylor Swift, I would be writing the next Who's Afraid of Little Old Me. 

I have a computer and a small ability to tell a story, and up until now, they've been quiet ones. My first is about a ghost whisperer who desperately wants to be a normal teenager. My second one involves undiagnosed anxiety, reincarnation, and redemption. I love my characters and the soft stories they have to tell. But this past year, an idea came to me that was outside my comfort zone. It links back to the first time I heard Taylor Swift's Who's Afraid of Little Old Me. I remember having a visceral reaction to the anger of the song. I wondered what would happen if the good person was pushed too far, and would the consequences really be their fault? So, last summer, I wrote a basic outline and a couple of chapters that explored supernatural abilities and bullying. I set it aside after that, planning to return when my second book was finished, but I have to admit that part of me worried. This isn't what I write. Thrillers, even borderline horror, are not something I thought I identified with. I can read those stories, but I didn't feel like I had it in me to write anything close...but ideas have been coming to me. I don't want to give anything away, but my outline expanded to include women's health, false Christianity, and feminine rage. 

Maybe, because of the current world, I do have it in me. I hope one day my story will connect with someone else....

In the meantime, I'm still absorbing as much art as I can.

Books I read:

Wilder Girls - Rory Power - An all-girls school under quarantine after a virus outbreak that alters them physically. I was looking for some inspiration for my female rage story, and this certainly gave some insight. 

Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show - Bethany Joy Lenz - Wow! An absorbing study of how someone can get pulled into a cult, as well as an examination of how someone's spiritual beliefs can be used to control them.

Books I'm reading:

When the World Tips Over - Jandy Nelson - Jandy's books are set in reality but infused with such magic. So jealous of her storytelling.

Our Infinite Fates - Laura Stevens - I've been patiently waiting for this book, especially since it was compared to my favorite, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. It also contains a reincarnation plot like my second story. Two souls who are destined to love and kill each other in a thousand lifetimes - what?? 

What I'm listening to: 

Cacophony - Paris Paloma - Pretty sure there's a reason her song Labour is receiving so much attention right now.

Mayhem - Lady Gaga - She's always reinventing herself, and I appreciate that her song How Bad Do U Want Me, is filling my Taylor Swift void for new music :) :)

What I'm watching:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Hear me out. I remember watching this in the 90s, but I had forgotten so much of it. For some reason, watching demons getting taken out in every episode is oddly comforting. 

The Handmaid's Tale - I'm not technically watching, as the final season doesn't start for another 4 days, but I am psyching myself up for it. I read the book in college and found it to be such a chilling and yet far-off story. The series debuted in 2017, which seems like 10 lifetimes ago. Unfortunately, the story no longer seems far-fetched. As the saying goes, objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are....

I would love to hear how you're using your talents and gifts to connect with others, and as always, what are you reading?! :)

~Adrienne

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion....Albert Camus

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act....George Orwell